Sneaking Out and Dance Parties

So last Saturday night I had my first experience at "the club."

It was the birthday party of Murder Inc., a group of 4 guys who think they are so cool that they can just pick a name, form a group and pick a day they decide to be their birthday. Which apparently isn't all that uncommon. Anyways, these 4 guys are apparently pretty hot stuff around town ... they've got star basketball players on their team, they've beautifully spray painted their name on various buildings ... they're the ish. And 2 of my best girl friends here are each dating one of the guys of Murder Inc. So for the birthday bash, Murder Inc. paid a ridiculous sum of money to rent out the club, made up invitations, and awaited the big day.

Around 9pm I headed over to Aisatou's (my best gf here) here to get ready. I brought all the usuals: clothes, make up, music and chocolate. We and some other girls spent a few hours getting ready for the big night (things really aren't that different over here) and all of Aisatou's family, including her dad, know we're locked in one of the bedrooms getting dressed. 11pm rolls around and I'm set to go. I've gotten dressed, hair and make up are done, it's time to head out! But then Aisatou looks out the bedroom door, looks back at me, and says "Kiki, you need to put your other clothes back on." Meaning my gym shorts and tank top. I looked at her completely dumbfounded, and then her little sister explained that her dad can't know we're going out to the club. What?! So we're going to sneak out?? This is hilarious ... here I am, living alone in this remote country, finished college, and all of a sudden I now have to sneak out of someone's house so her dad won't see us?! So I oblige, change back into my casual clothes with the other girls and we plan to make the great escape. Which involved casually walking though the family room past her father with unconspicuous plastic bags full of halter tops and high heels under our arms, then as soon as setting foot into the night SPRINTING behind the closest (skinny) palm tree, the full moon brightly giving away our positions. I'm trying my best to be quiet, but 5 girls just sprinted across a well-lit yard, pulling off the most UNsmooth sneaking out ever. Tears are running down my face I'm laughing so hard.

Eventually we sneak into another friend's house to get changed, and begin the long walk to club, L'Oasis. After making a pit stop at ANOTHER friend's house to make the necessary change from flip flops to heels, we finally make it to L'Oasis around midnight. I walk into the club, and realize that groups of friends are all wearing the same color. So that is why my girls Mama and Aisatou are also wearing the same color I am ... and suddenly I feel like I fit in. Very cool. Until I see the dancing going on in there- I am instantly surrounded by dancers who ONLY dance like a combination of Timberlake Usher and Chris Brown ... amplified to the power of ten. I mean, these people can DANCE. For those that know me, I have no shame when it comes to busting a move, but this was on a whole new level. And all the walls are surrounded by mirrors, so there's no hiding. So now me and my fellow green-shirted girl friends are getting our groove on in the appropriately-dark club, I'm beginning to feel comfortable again, when all of a sudden BAM!! there is a spot light on me!! As if I wasn't already self-conscious enough being the only white person in a club where everyone was watching me anyways, I am now the victim of a spot light and his faithful following videographer!!!! Really, all I wanted was to wish Murder Inc. a happy birthday, dance a few Lil' Wayne songs and dip out. But now I've become a felon to Aisatou's father, I've become acutely aware that I do not dance like Shakira, and now in a dark club no one see anything except the white girl illuminated by the spot light. So I did what any normal Peace Corps Volunteer white-girl in Guinea would do, and hammed it up for the camera. I made the most of my dance moves, the club gathered around this newfound commotion I'd created, and people started cheering for Kiki. Then, noticing that I was center stage, I pulled my girl friends into the middle of the circle and made my escape. Which wasn't an escape, because the spotlight just followed me. Oh well, Murder Inc.'s got some good footage.

So after hours of dodging the spotlight, it's after 3am and I am exhausted. I want to go home. But no, we have to wait for the "Birthday Introductions" where someone on a microphone gets up and introduces the infamous Murder Inc. (umm, hello. we all know who they are, that's why we came to their bday party) and then that was to be followed by the cutting of the birthday cake. So Murder Inc. is being introduced, I want to gorge out my eyeballs I'm so tired, and then finally I hear it's time for the bday cake. Score! I'm starving. But wait ... the emcee announces that they FORGOT the knife, so he starts ASKING FOR A COLLECTION of donations to go buy a knife. Excuse me sir, but at 3:30am in Mamou where the heck are you planning on buying a knife? I barely know how to find a knife in the middle of the day in this crazy city. But the emcee continues his pleas for donations ... to no avail. Literally, 30 minutes of begging for money for a knife. I am on the verge of self destruction, I just want to go home, go to sleep, and am praying that I will wake up from this never-ending nightmare.

And then Allah heard my cries. The club went completely dark.

Whether the generator ran out of gas, the electricity just went out, or the club owner got so sick of this lunatic begging for knife-money that he cut the power, I suddenly found myself in a club with 100 other people and no lights save for the people pulling out their cell phones. Well, darn, I really would have loved to stick around and hear more introductions and give money for a knife, but looks like it's time to head out. The masses exit. But then congregate outside in the streets for another 30 minutes. Mama (one of my friends/honorary gfs of Murder Inc.) has the cake and decides to start ripping it apart with her hands and offering to the crowd. The cake is beautiful, 3 tiers, and costs a FORTUNE, considering things like butter, vanilla, and ovens don't exist in Mamou. I'm starving so I'm excited and honored when Mama hands me the first piece. I take a bite ... and it's the worst piece of cardboard I have ever tasted. Talk about disappointment.

Finally after wasting far too much time and posing for more pictures with the photographers/videographers a car appears and me and my girls get a ride home. It's now nearly 5am and the plan was to sleep at Aisatou's. But now, we have to sneak BACK INTO the house. Which is much harder since her little sister can't hear our faint tapping on the window with a stick. I got so frustrated and was so exhausted that as soon as her mother appeared to help us sneak back in (her mom is a champion, I love the lady. I call her 'mom.') I grabbed my bags and returned home.

Aisatou's dad was shocked to learn that I'd spent the night at his house and woke up at 6am, even before he did, to go back home to do chores around my house. Oh, the naiive.