Slaying Chickens and Dodging Bullets

I'mmmm backkkkkkkkkkkkk!!

No, not in America. But to the only place in the country that I believe has internet. So, now I have to cram a month's passings into a blog post? I'll try.

I received an email that made me fall out of my seat laughing from Anne and Tiffany, asking me questions about Africa. I'll just post the answers up here:

Dearest Caitlin,
Hello from the homeland! This is Tiffany and Anne, we are in our English class right now and "working on our rough drafts for our research papers". Our teacher Kip Dynamite is sitting in the row of computers behind us...clueless. Mehehe. We just wanted to say hello, we miss you, we haven't heard that you made it okay so if you could PLEASE let us know you're alive, that would be a little nice. Also a few mandatory questions:

1) HOW IS AFRICA? Africa is flipping amazing. I love it and wake up every morning happy to be here, and then laugh because I live in a town that I can guarantee none of you even knows exist. But c'est la vie.
2) DO YOU FEEL LIKE A MINORITY? In terms of skin color, most def. There isn't a white person not affiliated with PC that I've seen yet. That said, I also feel like a celebrity. All the kids in my town (and women/men too) all know me because I made up a ridiculous African name for myself (Kiki) so everywhere I go people love to chase me down screaming "Kiki! Kiki! Ca va?"
3) HAVE YOU SEEN ANY LIONS YET? Negative. Hope it stays that way.
4) DOES THE AIR SMELL THE SAME? It smells like burning trash. But after being here for a month, the PC volunteers will agree with me that it smells like BBQ. Mmmm.
5) WHEN IS YOUR INAUGURATION TO THE OFFICE OF OFFICIAL GUINEA PRINCESS HAPPENING? That date is TBA, but I'll keep you posted.
6) HAVE YOU TAKEN APART A TV AND PUT IT BACK TOGETHER AND PRETENDED TO BE THE INVENTOR OF TELEVISION YET? No, because if I touched the TVs of these people they'd commit suicide. Prized posession, to the max.
7) HOW ARE THE DREAD LOCKS COMING ALONG? Decided against dreads, sadly, in the interest of making friends.
8) HAVE YOU TAKEN A BUCKET SHOWER YET? (WE WON'T TELL IF YOU HAVENT....) Considering there is NO running water where I live, I do it every day! It's actually my favorite part of Guinea so far, no lie.
9) HAVE YOU EATEN SAHARAN DIRT YET? Not on purpose...
10) IF NOT YOU SHOULD TRY IT I HEAR ITS TASTY, LIKE WITH A LITTLE LEAF ON TOP It actually tastes more like feces.
11) ARE YOU EVEN NEAR THE SAHARA DESERT? No.
12) HAVE YOU MADE ANY "GUINEA PIG" JOKES YET? I think someone tried ... I try to keep my coolness status higher than that. I'll send those off in private emails to you...
13) SUCH AS, "HEY, WHERE ARE ALL THE HAMSTERS? OH I FORGOT, THIS IS GUINEA!"
14) HOW DO YOU FEEL WHEN YOU HEAR THE PHRASE: HILARY CLINTON-NEW SECRETARY OF STATE? I forget what she looks like. And I hear a reporter threw a shoe at Bush? That's probably old news for y'all ... but for me, I'm still laughing over here!
15) WHAT IS YOUR NAME IN THE GUINEAN LANAUGE? Kiki!! Yes, sometimes it does make me feel like a stripper. But Guineans can't pronounce Caitlin, so I tried getting them to say Cait, but that didn't work either and all that was coming out of my 30 bro/sisters mouths was "Ki Ki Ki Ki" so I went with it and am now officially Kiki.
16) HAVE YOU HEARD ANYONE SPEAK IN CLICKS YET? Do grunts count?
17) WILL YOU PLEASE BECOME FLUENT IN THE CLICK LANGUAGE BEFORE YOU COME HOME? Send me the book on CD and consider it done. After the big swear-in ceremony on Feb 6 I'll have 3 months alone in a village to pick up all sorts of new hobbies.
18) WHY IS THE SKY BLUE? Because anything blue made in Guinea bleeds when you wash it with a wash board in some buckets. Something about indigo ... so when God first made the sky he let Guinean indigo bleed all over it, to match the color of any previously white clothing I had.
19) HAVE YOU MADE ANY FRIENDS/LOVERS/ENEMIES? Well, my 23 year old brother (yes Claire, your email was accurate) was my friend. Then he tried to become my lover in a very creepy story, so I told him that I would never love him. To which he tried comparing our love to that of Jack and Rose from Titanic. To which I said he was ridiculous. To which he said he was going to become sick and not sleep well. To which I then said that if he didn't sleep well tonight, he wouldn't sleep well tomorrow night, or the next night, or any other night for the rest of his life because I will never love him. So now he avoids me in a 15 year old girl dramatic kind of way. Does that count as enemies?
20) WHY DON'T YOU BUY US TICKETS TO THE WORLD CUP/YOUR HUT? Because I'm making a few dollars a day. However, you will always have a place to stay in Guinea.
21) HAVE YOU MET A XXXXX IN GUINEA? Cannot answer.
22) CAN HIS NAME BE FOUND ON THE PERIODIC TABLE OF ELEMENTS? Sadly,no.
23) HAVE YOU MET SIMBA YET? (WE HEAR HE RESIDES IN GUINEA ON VACATION) Searching...
24) WOULD YOU LIKE US TO SEND YOU CHEESEBURGERS IN THE MAIL? Coming from a girl who doesn't even eat red meat, YES! The baguettes and rice diet is getting a little old.
25) HAVE YOU SEEN THE RARE TYRANNAYUATI? IT IS AN ANIMAL NATIVE TO GUINEA AND ONLY COMES OUT AT NIGHT. PLEASE ASK LOCALS ABOUT IT.
(just kidding this animal does not exist)
WE LOVE YOU!!!!!

So Anne and Tiff, there you go. Hope everyone else got a little sneak peak into what else is going on here. Also, where I live, there is no running water, electricity for 6 hours every other day, and definiately NO internet. So I get a lot of emails all at once, and don't have time to reply to them all because 28 other volunteers are ready to fight for computer time, so I'm going to try and hit on the main points.

1. The Military Coup
Yes, I can now say that I have been involved with a military coup. YOLO, right? So, here's the lowdown. Guinea had this whack president who did nothing. He was super sick. He died ... he may have actually died 3 weeks before news was even let loose. Fortunately or unfortunately, there was no Vice President (Sarah Palin, anyone?) so I was in a country on Christmas eve where there was no one in charge. So then this military captain punk took over and said "I'll be prez!" and threw out the constiution. However, the Guineans handled the 3 day period with grace, patience, and peace and welcomed this new guy. Amazingly, he is NOT one of the 3 major ethnic groups, which is great because that means that there won't be ethnic tensions. He's also a Christian in a Muslim country, which is also crazy that he was able to take over peacefully. Guineans like this new guy, and after much "happy gunfire celebration" and nation wide curfews, all is back to normal. I have hope this guy can make a difference here ... already I have seen a dramatic increase in the amount of hours we've been receiving electricity AND a 3rd beer is now in circulation here. Things are looking up.

2. Christmas
Christmas was awesome. Christmas Eve I was unable to come back to the capital due to the coup d'etat, so we stayed at the Peace Corps compound in our training-town. We celebrated there and dodged gun fire from drunk/celebrating military. No, the guns were not being aimed at people. Just in the air. But what goes up must come down, hence the dodging bullets. Again, YOLO.

3. Chicken Slaying
I can also now say that I know how to bargain a good price for, slaughter, prepare, cook, and eat a chicken. Unless I've seen that chicken been killed in front of me, it's pretty safe to say that I've gone vegetarian here.

4. Family
I'm living with a host family until the end of training. One husband, 3 wives, and between 15-30 kids. I really can't tell. It's been difficult trying to figure out the family dynamics, who's kid is whose, who likes who, who's my cousin or sister or aunt or brother. Basically, I've given up trying. All the little kids love me, I get tackled every day when I come home from school by kids screaming "Kiki! Kiki!" I have taught them the power pound (JrNYLC shout-out!) and it's been quite the hit. I have one sister who "takes care of me" but my friends and I have determined we don't like her. It's pretty funny how not-nice she is. But I have a king-size bed, so I don't care :) My brother and I hit a rough patch last weekend because he is deeply in love with me, but as it turns out, my French is good enough to solidly end relationships. Relationships, mind you, that never even began.

5. Mail
Beacuse Guinea doesn't really have a post office system, I've been sending mail back home with travelers going to the US. However, good news, I can receive mail! When all the volunteers came back to the capital last night for New Years I felt so lucky to have gotten 2 cards and 1 package. And I felt really sad for the volunteers who didn't get anything. They were sad too. So, what I'm saying is, please don't let me be that volunteer. Sending a letter, 94 cents. The happiness that washes over me, priceless. Also, I love all the blog comments/emails. Thanks everyone, I love you all!

So I gotta bounce, grab my backpack and pile into the Peace Corps vehicles (we have this awesome motorcade of white PC vans/SUVs) to head back to my town. Hope you all have a VERY happy new year!! I will be back here in Conakry (read: civilization) on Feb. 6 for my big swear-in as an official volunteer!! So, that is the next time y'all can expect updates. Love you all and miss you lots! Oh, and if you want to call me, I got a phone!!

011-224-67-20-99-68

It costs me the equivalent of 10 lunches to talk to you for 5 minutes, therefore I sadly cannot call you on my "salary." But calls ARE free for me! I'd love a call. Talk to you all in about a month, much much much much love!!!!